One day I hope to work in a Library, that is what I will be allowed to do once I have finished my degree. I could work in a Library now if I wanted to, with out a degree, but all I would be doing would be shelving and scanning books. A job like that pays as much as you think it would. A job as a Librarian pays you more than you think it would. I enjoy reading, I do a lot of it now despite starting to re-watch The Wire from Season 1. So it is safe to say I like books and think they have a lot to offer. What I do not like, are the people who fetishise books, bibliophiles (I think they like to call themselves) and who are vocal in their fetishism. They are like men with foot fetishes, weird and very scary, I want nothing to do with them. Yet, it would seem daily I am forced to deal with them in one capacity or another.
It does fascinate me though, the things which people will build their identity around. I am not sure what I have build mine around so I will (and want to and like to) say that I have built mine around nothing. Maybe thinking about it, as I have been forced to do, I am building it around being different, so that I can define myself as an individual and not feel so bad about not feeling like I fit into mainstream society. Isn't better to not want what you can't or don't have? Sad, very sad. That said, I think we all want to stand out in some way. To be seen and to be acknowledged as being right and better than those who surround us.
I remember telling my father once that I was an individual. I was 12 or 13 and it was a sarcastic sardonic remark – much how people use whatever these days – but he took it as an act of defiance and responded with you're not an individual, you're like every other punk kid out there. Bless that man. He does seem to read some strange things into my behaviour.
